Babelfished Someone to Look Up To

[lavivi]

So recently I found a meme where you translate part of a fic you've written into another language, then back into the original language, and laugh at the result.  I found it so amusing I decided I'd have to do it for an entire one-shot.  So I chose my best, of course.

The original of Someone to Look Up To:

***

I’m Blaise Zabini, and I’m a Slytherin. I haven’t always been a Slytherin. Before I went to Hogwarts I was just a normal, average witch. When I met other children my age, they didn’t look at me funny and keep a slight distance, as though I had something catching. My parents had both been Ravenclaws. They didn’t care so much. But when I went home for the holidays, and polite visitors inquired what house I had been sorted into, I got strange looks, almost as though I was dirty, when I answered. I tested it once, telling a lady I was in Ravenclaw. She smiled at once, saying I must be such a clever girl. I don’t understand it. I didn’t ask the Sorting Hat to put me in Slytherin.

In the first weeks of school, I learned quickly not to try to make friends with girls in other houses. They’re more obvious about it than people at home – “slimy, sneaky Slytherin.”

But it’s all right. I’m friends with other girls in my house, and now it’s the last day of school, the Leaving Feast, and I’m excited because we won the House Cup. Whatever the other houses might say, it’s our colors that are all over the Great Hall in the end, not theirs.

Ooh, Harry Potter just walked in. He’s been in the hospital wing for the past few days. No one knows why, but I heard Terence Higgs saying he fought some kind of duel in a secret chamber. Of course I haven’t talked to Harry Potter at all this year, even though we have classes together. He looks pretty ordinary to me, actually.

Now Dumbledore’s standing up. I’m grinning because here comes the announcement, Slytherin wins the House Cup. And yes – he’s announcing the points, and we’re in first place, ha!

However, recent events must be taken into account. Ahem, I have a few last-minute points to dish out. Let me see. Yes...

First – to Mr. Ronald Weasley, for the best-played game of chess Hogwarts has seen in many years, I award Gryffindor fifty points.

Well, that’s nice of Dumbledore, helping even things out for the Gryffindors so they won’t feel as bad. Dumbledore really is nice, always so thoughtful like that. I like him.

Second – to Miss Hermione Granger...for the use of cool logic in the face of fire, I award Gryffindor house fifty points.

Wait. I’m adding in my head, and now Gryffindor’s ahead of Hufflepuff...

Third – to Mr. Harry Potter...for pure nerve and outstanding courage, I award Gryffindor house sixty points.

The Gryffindors are screaming, and I don’t have time to figure out how many points they have now because Adrian Pucey’s slamming his fist down on the table, swearing at Dumbledore and hissing to us, “He tied them with us!”

No, Adrian must have added wrong – but it’s true, I’m realizing. We are now tied for the Cup. But that’s wrong, we won it – Dumbledore’s starting to talk again –

There are all kinds of courage –

No. I’m staring at him, and I’m shaking and I can’t help – he wouldn’t, he can’t do this, he’s so famous for being good –

It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends. I therefore award –

– he wouldn’t, he couldn’t be so cruel, he can’t do this to us –

– ten points to Gryffindor.

Everyone in Gryffindor is screaming, on their feet, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff cheering too. Nearly all of the staff are grinning, exchanging delighted looks. Only we Slytherins sit, silent.

I have to look down now at the table, because I think I’m about to cry for the first time in a while. But I’m not going to cry, because that’s the rule above all others, Slytherins don’t cry. But I don’t think I can help it – it’s not fair, why does everyone have to hate us so much – tears are slipping down my face and falling into my lap. I push my hair forward to hide it, hoping no one will notice.

A fourth-year beside me is swearing ceaselessly against Dumbledore, hardly stopping to draw breath. I look up slightly, through my hair, to see the faces of my other housemates. The younger ones look stunned, the middle ones angry, but the oldest, the sixth and seventh years, look unsurprised, even amused, in a bitter way.

“Zabini, are you crying?”

“No!” I lash out vehemently, swiping my sleeve over my face.

Before we could say anything else, a nearby sixth year whom I hardly know says, “Leave her alone, Flint. She won’t cry next year.”

I look up to see that Dumbledore has changed our Slytherin banners to Gryffindors’. I look away.

It’s okay, really. I’m learning a lesson today, and somehow it feels more valuable than any other this year. Slytherins, we depend on ourselves. We can’t count on anyone else, not any of the teachers, and the great Dumbledore, so wonderful and shining, doesn’t extend his light to us. That’s okay too. We don’t need him, we have ourselves. That’s where we can get support. We don’t even need to ask anyone else.

It’s night now. I’m sitting in the common room with nearly everyone else – no one seems to want to leave to go to bed. There’s not much talking, mostly people are quiet.

The Bloody Baron’s here too. I know most of the school thinks he never talks, but he does. Only here in the Slytherin quarters, to us, and very rarely. I watch him as he floats around the room. If he wasn’t at the feast, I’m sure he heard from someone what happened. He’s stopped in the center of the room, gazing around, and the few people who were talking have fallen silent. I think he’s about to talk.

“Have any of you heard,” he says slowly, “of the Head Boy who was a Slytherin?”

I can practically feel everyone’s interest being caught. People are glancing at each other, looking to see if anyone did know. One girl lying on her stomach, idly turning the pages of a book, snorts. “And the school didn’t collapse out of shock?”

The Bloody Baron makes no remark on this. “He was top of his year throughout his years as well. Very clever. Some even said a mind to rival Dumbledore’s.”

Now even the girl with the book has looked up at the ghost above with rapt attention. All eyes are on him.

“His name was Tom Riddle...”

***

And into German and back:

***

I am Blaise Zabini and I am a Slytherin. I was not always a Slytherin. Before I went to Hogwarts, I was fair a normal, average witch. When I met other children my age, they regarded me not merrily and held a slight distance, as if I had myself something to get caught. My parents had been both Ravenclaws. They were interested not as much. Sorted was in, but, when I went home for the holidays, and polite visitors inquired which house I, I received strange of views, nearly, as if I was dirty, when I answered. I examined it once and explained to a lady, who was I in Ravenclaw. It smiled immediately, to say must I such a clever girl be. I do not understand it. I asked not over for the sorting hat, in order to use me in Slytherin.

 

In the first weeks of the school I to form learned fast not to try friends with girls in other houses. They are obvious over it as bevoelkeren at home - "slimy, sneaky Slytherin."

 

But it is completely quite. I am friends with other girls in my house, and now it is the last day of the school, the leaving celebration, and I become excited, because we won the house bowl. Whatever the other houses could say, it is our colors, which completely over the large resound in the end are, their.

 

Ooh, Harry toepfer went straight inside. It is in the hospital wing for the last days. Nobody knows, why, but I heard Terence Higgs Saying, which he fought any kind duel in a secret area. Of course I did not speak with Harry toepfer on this whole year, although we have those together categories. It looks pretty usual to me, really.

 

Now position Dumbledores above. I grinse, because the announcement comes here, Slytherin win the house bowl. And - it announces the points, and we are in the first place, hectars!

 

However recent events must be considered. Ahem, has I unite reading minute to out arrange points. Let me see. Yes...

 

First - to Mr. Ronald Weasley, because the good-played play of chess Hogwarts saw fifty into many years, award I Gryffindor points.

 

From Dumbledore nicely and out help even things for the Gryffindors are good, therefore they do not believe as bad. Dumbledore is really nicely, always as durchdacht as that. I like it.

 

In second place - to Ms Hermione Granger... for the use of coolly logic in view of the fire, I award Gryffindor house fifty points.

 

Waiting period. I add third now in my head and in Gryffindors before Hufflepuff...

 

in addition - to Mr. Harry Potter... for pure nerve and outstanding courage, I award Gryffindor house sixty points.

 

The Gryffindors cry and I have not time, out, to represent to many points it to have now, because Adrian Puceys, which slams its fist shut down on the table, hisses with Dumbledore schw50rt and to us, "it bound it with us!"

 

No., Adrian must have wrongly added - however it is carried out applicable, I. We are bound now for the bowl. But that is, we won it wrong - Dumbledores, which begins, to speak again –

 

it gives all kinds courage –

 

no. I stare along it on, and I shake and I cannot not help - he did not become, he can not this do, he is so famous for its good -

 

It takes much bravery to the location up to our enemies, but straight to so much to the location up to our friends. Therefore price I - -

 

it did not become thus cruel, it could be, cannot it not this to us do - -

 

10 points Gryffindor.

 

Everyone into Gryffindor walk, on its feet, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff also zujubelnd. Nearly the whole personnel are the Grinsen and exchange pleased views. Only we Slytherins sit, quietly.

 

I must now regard the table down, because I think that I am in, for the first time to cry in when. But I will not cry, because those is the guideline above all different one, Slytherins cry not. But I do not think the fact that I can him help - it is inappropriate, that, why everyone must us as much hates does - tear slide down my face and fall into my lap. I press my hair forward to hide over it and hope that consider nobody.

 

One fourth year beside me schw50rt incessant against Dumbledore and hardly stops, in order to draw breath. I look above something, by my hair, in order to see the faces my other housemates. The younger look betaeubt, the middle annoyed, but the oldest, 6. and 7. Years, view unsurprised, even maintain, in a bitter way.

 

"Zabini, are crying you?"

 

"No.!" I whip out vehement, swiping my case over my face.

 

Before we could say still something, a close convenient says 6. Year, which I hardly know, "they leave alone, to flint. It do not walk the following year."

 

I look see to that Dumbledore changed our Slytherin flags to Gryffindors '. I look away.

 

It is real, okay. I learn a lesson today, and she somehow feels more valuable than any different one this year. , we depend Slytherins on us. We cannot count on nobody any the teacher and the large Dumbledore otherwise, not, thus wonderfully and shining, extended its light not on us. That is also okay. We do not need it, we have. That is, where we can receive support. We do not need even, in order to ask for nobody otherwise.

 

It is night now. I sit generally area with nearly everyone otherwise - nobody seems goes wishing, in order to go sleeping. There is not much maintenance, mostly people is calm.

 

The bloody baron here also. I know, which thinks most the school that he never speaks, but he. Only here in the Slytherin quarters, to us and very rarely. I watch out it, while he swims around the area. If it were not at the celebration, I am reliably that he heard of someone, what happened. It is stopped in the center of the area and around stares on, and the few people, whom spoke, have pleased quiet. I think that he is to speak.

 

"do you have any from you heard," it say slowly, "of the main boy, that were a Slytherin?"

 

I can be practically believed, gotten caught to everyone to interest. People look on each other volatile and look, in order to see, if everyone knew. A girl, who on their stomach, who is appropriate for pages of a book, snorts dormant turning. "and the school did not fall from impact?"

 

the bloody baron does not form a note on this. "it was top side of its yearly during its years in addition. Very cleverly. Any even said an understanding to rival over Dumbledores."

 

Smooth the girl with the book have the spirit with regarded above above rapt now attention. All eyes are on it.

 

"its name was Tom mystery..."

 

 ***