Plew edits

[lavivi]

Just re-read Put a Light in the Window.  It's been quite a while since I wrote it...re-reading it, I was surprised by how bad it wasn't.

It's true, I had the impression that it wasn't very good at all - but it was still a pleasant surprise.  I especially remembered the first chapter being inferior to the second and third, and I got an excellent contradiction.  I even have a quote that I like in particular:

 “Draco!” She had to stop to get control of her voice again.  He turned his head back toward her, watching the emotion on her face.  “You’re so spoiled,” she said at last.  “But don’t be so selfish, Draco, please.  Sort this out with me.”

I also fairly like their reunion, after his parents' cremation.

Ginny spoke first.  “We’ve both changed.”
He said nothing, letting silence stand for agreement.
“Do you remember…what you said, that one night in those last weeks?  You told me to remind you if you didn’t remember.”
He spoke, his voice quiet and even.  “I remember.”
She smiled – not a happy smile, but a tired smile that was grateful for a small mercy.  Some moments passed, and she looked up at him again.  “What do you feel now?”
Draco did not answer.  He studied her face for several more seconds, then slowly raised his hand toward her face.
Ginny stopped breathing. Very slowly, his fingertips brushed her cheek, hovered there – and then he pressed his whole palm to her cheek.

Now I'm making some edits...a typo or two, making the syntax more clear - the biggest change is in the second-to-last scene, when Ginny tells her family.  I'm writing in a few more lines, just to reveal more of this Ginny's character.

The new paragraph is the second one here:

In short order, everyone was collected together in the living room.  Ginny stood before the stairs, her small trunk beside her.  She spent several moments looking over her family, memorizing everything.  Dad and Bill sitting at the table – Charlie and the twins standing together against the wall – Ron and Hermione standing with hands clasped – Mum sitting in her chair.  For the first time in a while, she was struck painfully by Percy’s absence.  What would his reaction have been to what she was about to say?  She could only imagine now.

She loved her family, of course; each one of them.  But there had been a turning point in her life that had pulled her sharply away from them; it hadn’t happened immediately, only slowly over the years.  And now, she felt like she hardly knew them – like she couldn’t relate to them.

This would be an excellent time to write the epilogue.  After I re-submit the three chapters to fanfiction.net...and later to FictionAlley.

ETA: It is begun.

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Just sent you an email about it. Glad again that you liked it!