Quotes

"Harry?" Ron asked, alarmed. "What's the matter?" "Never mind him," Hermione said. "He's just being stupid." "We're still not trying to murder you, Ron," Harry added... ...Ron nodded, looking apprehensively at them both... — Mad Maudlin (Strange Bedfellows: A Comedy of Assumptions)

"Kissing Neville is like..." Ginny drummed her fingers, searching for the right comparison. "It's like running into a wall. You're surprised when it happens and, afterward, you can't understand why you did it." ... — Susan (Harry 5.9 and the Gathering Storm)

"...your demon sword and try to feed yourself to a large and angry group of dragons. What were you planning on doing for an encore? Standing on a hilltop during a lightning storm wearing a wet suit of armor and yelling 'All gods are bastards!' at the top of your lungs?"... — Cassandra Claire (Draco Sinister)

[It still makes me laugh.]

Perhaps it is just as well that my magical eye is lying discarded at the other end of the room. Without it, I am blinded, yet I see something I never noticed before, I understand a mystery that has eluded me for so long... Yes, perhaps I should remain a cyclops too, Tonks.... — Cassiopeia (Eye of the Beholder)

Malfoys aren't human. They're citizens of the republic of hell. ... — Just Silver (Fragile)

They had started building their Hermione's vocabulary with cue cards and educational games shortly after she'd said her first word. Though they still argued whether 'plbl' had meant 'pebble' or 'Plato.' They were very earnest parents, and wanted to do the best they could. ~ Dr. & Dr. Granger... — Icarus (First Signs of Magic: Hermione Granger)

Read the above story - quite good!  Just a one-shot.

The Slytherins were baffled, the Gryffindors were outraged, the Ravenclaws were intrigued and the Hufflepuffs were oblivious as usual.... — Amber Evans Potter (Vocare Prabia)