First, I re-read and edited my post-funeral scene (of Walter and Integra's big conversation - "Richard's a bastard traitor who tried to kill me but I shot him. Oh and by the way, Alucard's back"). It doesn't fail quite as much as I thought it did! Last main problem is perspective. DAMN PERSPECTIVE. Why can't we see how they're both feeling in one scene, huh. But I think it's fixed it up quite a bit, yay - will be emailing it again to my two lovely Hellsing girls (givemethechild andmortal_maiden) for further critiquing. And then posting!!! I so hope.
Now I am working on my old almost-sex scene. Siiiiigh. It's so conflicting. I don't understand how it can suck so much in places, and then be so incredibly decent to the point of possibly being described as "really quite good" in others. CONFLICTION. And both ways are really sunk quite deeply into the story, so re-writing is hard. It's so long and well-drawn-out for a PWP, too. Which gives me extra motivation for really fixing it up everywhere.
Have discovered through this that I have (perhaps mostly just had) a terrible tendency to write passively. Not always in the passive tense, but I can be so inclined to write things "elegantly" that involve long phrases and nicer words than normal ones, that it comes off detached. WTF, I just concritted an author about this the other day. I'm really glad I can recognize it in myself, though. Anyway, so am working on fixing that too.
Word count 3,539 for this one, and just over 2,000, I think, for the post-funeral scene.
(I want to start a new Lily/Severus piece too, just a glimpse of their relationship. Was inspired by this.)
P.S. Yes I still remember that thing called the nightmare-story. It's just that when I have so little time to write now, I really want to spend it on things which have so much more promise and are better-written. Sigh. Will have to figure out time to keep working on it, though.
ETA after reading a couple more stories written within the last six months: WHY. Why do I suck SO MUCH. *a v. furious headwall* And why did I actually SEND THESE to girls whose opinion MATTERS to me SO MUCH. AUUUUGH.
Thank God they lied, though, and told me they loved it, because I really couldn't have handled any other response in my extremely nervous state. ...Those two stories were of a new sort of hardcoreness.