lavivi: scan from Hellsing manga of Integra and Alucard (Integra since junior high)
Okay so I'm (slowly) reading the latest chapter of The Constant Guardian (the banter occasionally amuses me, but the writing/characterisation is so very questionable, so I have to go slow given my extreme sensitivity about Integra's characterisation), and a reminder of the plot (pill-induced vampirism in Romania) triggered this line of thought -

The actual likelihood of that if it were possible (which could be v. likely if vampires were, y'know, real) - how it would probably appear on the internet, some big flashing ad on a homepage like "WANNA BE A VAMPIRE?  THERE'S AN EASY WAY WITH NO DANGEROUS BITING INVOLVED" and when Walter shows it to Integra, how she would mutter, "That's sick.  ...I'd like to shoot Stephanie Meyer and Anne Rice.  Can we classify it as urgent prevention measures?"

and then how Integra probably has pinned up somewhere a hit list of authors etc. who are famous for making vampires seem cool, and also dreams of one day forcing them to have a disclaimer in all their works of how vampirism is just as cool as a bullet to the face, which she will assuredly personally deliver

- and then if Stephanie Meyer ever did an (extremely likely) British tour...how she might be kidnapped detoured for a little while so Integra can introduce her to Alucard and show her just how sparkly vampires are.


looooooool oh my God it's FRICKIN' BRILLIANT I can taste it, that would be so so cool and it could even spread like wildfire through fandom (if I'm able, as is always my problem, to live up to the idea with my execution).  Oh man oh man.  I don't think I can resist now, since I've thought about it for ten seconds.  It'll be short, a one-shot and just short of crack.

(I have not actually read Twilight, but I've heard an awful lot about it, particularly from [profile] buttfacemakani's extensive rants (1 2) and then some others.  I kind of do want to read it, for the same reason I like to read [profile] babb_chronicles, but it holds extra interest as published badfic.  It could cheer me up.)

ETA:  Okay I have to give credit where credit is due, particularly considering my blunt appraisal of The Constant Guardian at the top - but this just made me crack up laughing, it's really perfect:

[Alucard discussing the pill-induced vampires:]

"...Drug-ulas, perhaps.”

Integra closed her eyes wearily. “Five hundred years of personally experiencing cultural evolution—the renaissance, philosophy, the arts—and that’s the best quip you can come up with?”

lavivi: scan from Hellsing manga of Integra and Alucard (Hellsing - Integra/Alucard)
SOONER THAN ANYONE (INCLUDING MYSELF) THOUGHT POSSIBLE -

The story I mentioned in my last entry.  W00t.  A number of brilliant things (like a title!  A real title, on a level with Mischief Managed!) came together at once, and it was fantastic.

Other author notes:  Betaed by the excellent [profile] givemethechild.  I've missed her as a beta.  The story referenced is The Man-eating Tree by Phil Robinson. 

Feedback is such love.

lavivi: scan from Hellsing manga of Integra and Alucard (chivalry undead)
Whatever my discontent with...Welcome Home (I have to say I prefer referring to it as "almost-sex scene"), I cannot deny I have given it one of the best summaries ever for its copy on fanfictionDOTnet.

Integra arrives home for the summer, and Alucard is waiting for her. Strange things happen when you are fifteen.



For the WIN. 

(Also, if you join [profile] integral_art, you can see the gorgeous art Jean drew for it.  TOO GORGEOUS FOR THE CHANCE PASSERBY.)

Drabbles next, hopefully.  Along with the usual myriad of other WIPs.  All hopefully.
lavivi: scan from Hellsing manga of Integra and Alucard (drawstrings vs. KKK hand-me-downs)
...Just renamed If Sirius Had Won to Mischief Managed.

AHAHAHA THE SHEER BRILLIANCE.  IT OVERWHELMS ME.

Only sad point is that I can no longer call it Ishew.

...No, forget that, I'm going to call it Ishew anyway.

Oh yes I'm totally going to make a brilliant career out of these moments that strike every three years. 

(Yeah, I swear I'm going to finish it soon, too.  Seriously, I know what the last scene/line will be.)

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lavivi: scan from Hellsing manga of Integra and Alucard (Default)
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